My last day in school this year was March 16th.That was back when I had a mind.
Eight months later, I think Iāve officially lost my mind.
I am looking for things in the house that Iāve put in a safe spot.At least, 8 months ago, Iāve had a safe spot. Now, all bets are off. Iām praying to St. Anthony,good Catholic I am, but I think St.Anthony is social distancing.
Kasia seems to shake her head as I walk around trying to make sense of life eight months in. As long as we keep walking, she says weāre good….
Maybe Iāll ask Santa to bring my mind back for Christmas. After all, Penn State beat Michigan in football today.
āI am older than I once was but younger than Iāll be….ā-Paul Simon-The Boxer
I recently heard an additional stanza of THE BOXER by Paul Simon and the words about being older than I once was have been resonating through my mind. I have been going through some medical issues over the past year. I never had been daunted before , going through serious medical issues in my life, because I always looked at it as something to approach, deal with, and get on with things.
That was thirty years ago.
A week from today I am going to the city for some surgery. The thought of it brings me back thirty years. Egad, how cavalier it all was then. Now, I genuinely am afraid.
The mere fact that I am still here thirty years later, well, the Lord has been good to me. My body, however, is thirty years older and I have not taken as good care of my body as I should have. It makes me wonder if I can still āpull a rabbit out of my hat.ā The āwhat ifs?ā dance around my head in the middle of the night, and, quite frankly, I worry. I multiply this by the potential that there might be two or three additional surgeries coming along down the road.
If anything, my diagnosis has, as it had thirty years ago, make me appreciate everything…well mostly everything.
I relish my time with Jim and Kasia, because they are my loves and my family. I am grateful every time I get up in the morning and can get two feet on the floor. Most importantly, I relish my time alone. I reflect on the past, pray for today and hope for the future. Some people I know are afraid to,kind of, be by themselves. Me? I like sifting through things in the parts of my head that are working , and making myself chuckle.
After all, laughter is the best medicine.
Jim with the late Zush to your right and our Kasia on your left.
As another September draws to a close, my mind wraps around the fact that itās my 60th September.
Wow!
I really am feeling my age, and the Covid-19 months are just adding to it. When realizing itās September, I look at what I have on and itās basically the same thing I wore at the start of the Quarantine! Granted, the fit is a bit snugger, as my physician tried to reassure me at my August physical, ALL his patients that have been it put on an average 10-15 pounds over Quarantine. Uh, gee… thanks-I feel better…. NOT.
Granted, living by the bay has itsā advantages, but it was rough when the weather was really humid. Overall, Iād like to think that as the weather gets cooler, being home will lose some of itsāāGroundhog Dayā aura, and Kasia and I will be back pounding the macadam again, when we both donāt need major toweling to dry ourselves off.
If you asked me 25 years ago if Iād be married, Iād ask you what you are smoking. Never saw myself getting married. EVER!
Jim and his mom
Jim came into my life in 1997 and things just never were the same. I mean that in the best way.
We cleaned up well on 8/31/2002, and this can be seen up here on our wedding picture with Zushie.
Jim, Zushie girl and Kasia
Our family grew over the past 18 years.We lost our Zush 3 years ago, but we got Kasia 11 years ago. We are all getting older, but at least we are still together.
I can think of no better spouse, Pandemic partner and best friend. Sure, we bicker once in a while, but there is no one Iād rather be on this journey called life with. I have been blessed with a terrific guy.
It has been extremely dry down here at the āUndisclosed Location.ā
Bad enough time of civil unrest and COVID-19, unemployment, social distancing, and idiots who are down here without masks, but we are really dry. The last significant rain was during tropical Storm Fay. Cities on the Jersey coastline have a better chance at major precipitation than we at the bay do.
Kasia and her fur coat have been having a rough time along with me during the heat. I keep trying to work her coat down to make her comfortable. We have been getting our walks in, but running back in to get in air-conditioning.
My gorgeous Gerber daisies are virtually non-existent in this heat. I really didnāt get a chance to buy many, due to COVID, and the few I did buy arenāt fans of this heat.
So, itās back to vegging out now for both Kasia and myself. We are patiently waiting for a cooling front to come through.
Today is the day my Zosia, or Zushie-Girl left me to cross the Rainbow bridge three years ago.
I had prayed, over the last two days, for God to take her. I just was sad at having to make the call to the vet for him to come out to the house. I really didnāt feel as it was my place to that, as Iām not God. She was in such pain, though, that I really had no choice. The decision haunts me to this day.
I was blessed to have her with me for fifteen glorious years.
The dynamic duo: my Kasia and the Zushšš
She tolerated, back in her eighth year, when I got her a kid sister-Kasia. I was glad I did it, although I am sure there were days when she looked at me and had a look on her face to say āWhy me?ā I was fortunate that Kasia learned from the best girl ever.
Zosia was the gentlest of pups. I donāt think there was anyone she didnāt like or take to. We walked back the creek of the Wissahickon many times and it was truly as if we were back in nature. Zush would see another animal and walk right to it to say hello. Our late neighbors had two cats who would come up nose to nose to her to greet, and then proceed to walk under Zush. Really…under! She let them, as I guess she saw it as part of their greeting.
I tell Kasia now that sheās the best girl on earth. Itās a no brainer, as I know who the best girl in heaven is.
Best girl EVER!
Keep having fun in heaven, my Zush. You got to see your Babci again and meet Dziadziu and Poppa Jim and Alyx. Thereās not a moment I donāt miss you, but Daddy and Kasia and I will catch up one day, and weāll be back together again.
My husband always says FB causes problems. In regard to this year…
I always respect peopleās opinions. Really. I do…I donāt necessarily agree with them but I respect them.
This election is making me nuts. I let people express their views on my FB page but they just keep making a point of posting negative statements on my page, ESPECIALLY when I never did it on their page on their views.
I tried doing it,just putting the angry emoji on their statements, but, honestly, I REALLY DO NOT CARE. Itās someoneās opinion. Thatās it. So I stopped. End of story- there was nothing to be gained by doing that.
If you disagree with me fine, but do me a favor- you see where my opinion lies. Just skip my page, ok?
…stay away from the people who are starting to come down here? It astonishes me that folks are getting down here and walking around, instead of staying in place. A lot of people who are out for a walk for exercise are standing thisclose to each other..hello? Remember social distancing?
I can understand how some folks are chomping at the bit to return for normal. I would be, too, if I was thirty years younger and didn’t have three cancers under my belt. I currently have another medical issue simmering and really don’t need exposure to anyone who is infected. It’s as simple as that. In addition, if you are a regular reader of this blog, you know I am a fan of the off-season, when there are minimal people down here. Being quiet, well, I have no problems staying to my self and close to home.
Cape May is a virtual ghost town, but you can count the amount of out of state license plates growing each time you are there. The governor wants us citizens of New Jersey to avoid “knucklehead behavior” with the people who are not following social distancing and the other norms. I really just wish people would stay to themselves until the Covid vaccine comes into being. I know that common sense with folks who trek down here is not high, so, I will continue to stay to myself, and try to keep my family healthy.
Kasia and I are still at it, and when we see people when we walk, we stop and stand at the side of the street until they walk by: we both don’t need two take any chances.
Wherever you may be, please use common sense and stay safe.
I waited as long as I could, but bit the bullet yesterday.
I had stopped with Jim when we were getting groceries a few weeks ago, and bought some plants for the house. Of course, having bought them, the temperatures at night were kind of chilly, so they were in on my coffee table getting sun during the day.
The weather seems to have broken a bit, so, with Jim’s help, a new fuchsia geranium, an African daisy, and four tomato plants were potted and put in one part of the back deck. I am a bit nervous, as I bought my first heirloom tomato for the deck. I bought a Black Prince tomato, so we’ll see how it will take for the deck. The rest of the back deck has a mum that I brought in for the winter that fared well, and three Gerber daisies, all hot pink.
front porch
The front of the house I decided to do yellow. I had a second yellow mum that I brought in for the winter, so it came out for the front, along with the yellow Gerber daisy that I purchased. The pop of pink on my porch will be from my geranium.
Normally I’d have a few more plants, but it’s the first of the Quarantine era. I had my mask on when shopping and grabbed what I felt looked good. There might be a few holes where I normally would have plants, but it’s more important to stay healthy.
I’m happy and grateful to be able to sit out and enjoy the flowers. Life is just too damn short.
