February is just about over, and I always loved it for one reason. February was my Zushie-girl’s birthday month.
Kasia, my personal trainer, has had sole rule for the last two and a half years. I’d love to get her a “sister “, but she still savors being queen of the castle. I said to my buddy Kathy, who was Zush’s foster mom, I am waiting patiently for the day.
In the meanwhile, Zush has my heart in heaven, and Kas has my heart on earth. I always have loved and will love my girls.
That’s what it has been. Seven hundred and thirty days since I was able to hold my Bestie, my Zush.
Life has gone on without my Zush. Well, not really. I still, especially when quiet, can feel her by my feet, or glance over to her spot on the floor and see her quickly in my mind’s eye. It is a truly bittersweet sensation. I have become a firm believer in the Rainbow bridge, as many of my friends have tried to extend their sympathy in telling me the story of the Rainbow Bridge and me meeting Zush again there again one day. I just pray to God I’ll be able to do that. If I don’t get a chance , well,…I shudder to think about it. Believe it or not, there are times in Church where a hymn is sung and my eyes well up. It reminds me of hearing the same hymn during a time in the later part of Zush’s life, where I prayed to God to keep her with me as long as possible. Feeling her by me, I guess God answered my prayer.
Don’t get me wrong. I love Kasia; truly I do. Zush is still my heart. We have gone through a ton together. She was the best psychologist in town, and she kept all her mother’s secrets. Sometimes, I swear, she’d wink at me to say it was all going to be ok.
So tomorrow, seven hundred and thirty days after she has physically left me, I will spend the day cherishing my buddy’s memory. I will take Kasia for some good walks , spending Mom and Kasia time together, and I know Zush will be with us.
Did you hear a noise? As I typed that line, my heart sunk a little. She officially is a senior citizen. She has arthritis.
She has been hobbling on the right side, and the vet said her elbow is inflamed and her lower spine is too. I really felt bad when the vet says to me she’s going to do ” senior” bloodwork on her.
Senior? My baby?
Now Zush had arthritis, but she left us at 15 1/2. Kasia isn’t there yet. Both my girls had glucosamine daily. Today, Kasia got canine fish oil added to it. It feels like yesterday she was just a baby. I savor every moment with the Kas. Here’s hoping she feels better soon.