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Three Million Years….

…it feels like, and it’s only three years.

Today is the day my Zosia, or Zushie-Girl left me to cross the Rainbow bridge three years ago.

I had prayed, over the last two days, for God to take her. I just was sad at having to make the call to the vet for him to come out to the house. I really didn’t feel as it was my place to that, as I’m not God. She was in such pain, though, that I really had no choice. The decision haunts me to this day.

I was blessed to have her with me for fifteen glorious years.

The dynamic duo: my Kasia and the ZushšŸ’œšŸ’œ

She tolerated, back in her eighth year, when I got her a kid sister-Kasia. I was glad I did it, although I am sure there were days when she looked at me and had a look on her face to say ā€œWhy me?ā€ I was fortunate that Kasia learned from the best girl ever.

Zosia was the gentlest of pups. I don’t think there was anyone she didn’t like or take to. We walked back the creek of the Wissahickon many times and it was truly as if we were back in nature. Zush would see another animal and walk right to it to say hello. Our late neighbors had two cats who would come up nose to nose to her to greet, and then proceed to walk under Zush. Really…under! She let them, as I guess she saw it as part of their greeting.

I tell Kasia now that she’s the best girl on earth. It’s a no brainer, as I know who the best girl in heaven is.

Best girl EVER!

Keep having fun in heaven, my Zush. You got to see your Babci again and meet Dziadziu and Poppa Jim and Alyx. There’s not a moment I don’t miss you, but Daddy and Kasia and I will catch up one day, and we’ll be back together again.

Momma loves you, my girl, and always will.

Missing My Zush

This is my favorite selfie of me and my Zush, who left me for her halo three years ago.

February is just about over, and I always loved it for one reason. February was my Zushie-girl’s birthday month.

My Zush at 6 months.šŸ’ššŸ’ššŸ’š

Kasia, my personal trainer, has had sole rule for the last two and a half years. I’d love to get her a ā€œsister ā€œ, but she still savors being queen of the castle. I said to my buddy Kathy, who was Zush’s foster mom, I am waiting patiently for the day.

In the meanwhile, Zush has my heart in heaven, and Kas has my heart on earth. I always have loved and will love my girls.

730

That’s what it has been. Seven hundred and thirty days since I was able to hold my Bestie, my Zush.

Me and the Zush, circa 2002.

Life has gone on without my Zush. Well, not really. I still, especially when quiet, can feel her by my feet, or glance over to her spot on the floor and see her quickly in my mind’s eye. It is a truly bittersweet sensation. I have become a firm believer in the Rainbow bridge, as many of my friends have tried to extend their sympathy in telling me the story of the Rainbow Bridge and me meeting Zush again there again one day. I just pray to God I’ll be able to do that. If I don’t get a chance , well,…I shudder to think about it. Believe it or not, there are times in Church where a hymn is sung and my eyes well up. It reminds me of hearing the same hymn during a time in the later part of Zush’s life, where I prayed to God to keep her with me as long as possible. Feeling her by me, I guess God answered my prayer.

My Zush circa 2012

Don’t get me wrong. I love Kasia; truly I do. Zush is still my heart. We have gone through a ton together. She was the best psychologist in town, and she kept all her mother’s secrets. Sometimes, I swear, she’d wink at me to say it was all going to be ok.

So tomorrow, seven hundred and thirty days after she has physically left me, I will spend the day cherishing my buddy’s memory. I will take Kasia for some good walks , spending Mom and Kasia time together, and I know Zush will be with us.

She was ALWAYS the best.

The Kasia-girl

My girl, aka Hobbles McGee, is hurting.

Did you hear a noise? As I typed that line, my heart sunk a little. She officially is a senior citizen. She has arthritis.

She has been hobbling on the right side, and the vet said her elbow is inflamed and her lower spine is too. I really felt bad when the vet says to me she’s going to do ” senior” bloodwork on her.

Senior? My baby?

Now Zush had arthritis, but she left us at 15 1/2. Kasia isn’t there yet. Both my girls had glucosamine daily. Today, Kasia got canine fish oil added to it. It feels like yesterday she was just a baby. I savor every moment with the Kas. Here’s hoping she feels better soon.