“I am older than I once was but younger than I’ll be….”-Paul Simon-The Boxer

I recently heard an additional stanza of THE BOXER by Paul Simon and the words about being older than I once was have been resonating through my mind. I have been going through some medical issues over the past year. I never had been daunted before , going through serious medical issues in my life, because I always looked at it as something to approach, deal with, and get on with things.

That was thirty years ago.

A week from today I am going to the city for some surgery. The thought of it brings me back thirty years. Egad, how cavalier it all was then. Now, I genuinely am afraid.

The mere fact that I am still here thirty years later, well, the Lord has been good to me. My body, however, is thirty years older and I have not taken as good care of my body as I should have. It makes me wonder if I can still “pull a rabbit out of my hat.” The “what ifs?” dance around my head in the middle of the night, and, quite frankly, I worry. I multiply this by the potential that there might be two or three additional surgeries coming along down the road.

If anything, my diagnosis has, as it had thirty years ago, make me appreciate everything…well mostly everything.

I relish my time with Jim and Kasia, because they are my loves and my family. I am grateful every time I get up in the morning and can get two feet on the floor. Most importantly, I relish my time alone. I reflect on the past, pray for today and hope for the future. Some people I know are afraid to,kind of, be by themselves. Me? I like sifting through things in the parts of my head that are working , and making myself chuckle.

After all, laughter is the best medicine.

Jim with the late Zush to your right and our Kasia on your left.

Want Exercise? Teach Pre-School

Instead of working my way up higher, I accepted an assignment to teach full day pre-school today. Long story short? My back is on a heating pad as I write this.

I was fortunate, as the children today, including two with autism, were really well behaved for pre-K. I walked my 10,000 steps today, most of it coming home from work. While in the classroom, I was basically on pint-sized level, commenting on coloring or other craft skill, reviewing printing, or reading stories: thus, the heating pad is on my back.

Lunchtime was good. I had a counted calorie lunch with cottage cheese and some raspberries and was comfortable, with no hunger pangs until my dinner time. The class had snack time, and for those who didn’t have a snack from home, they had the option of graham-crackers or goldfish crackers.

The work I do is so fulfilling. I am very glad I have the chance to do this now, at this point in my life. I just wish my body was in better shape. Hopefully, by slowly and safely losing this weight, I’ll be a little less achy after a good day in school.


Kasia is muttering “Slacker” under her breath at me. We had two days where walking was giving us roughly 10,000-15,000 steps daily, but not today.

She is on week one of two weeks of medicine from the vet, and she is still hobbling, albeit not as badly as she was. As for me, my muscles are aching from all this walking, so we determined this is a down day for us.

The weather has picked up, so we are walking more, Kasia seems to realize that we are going further each time. I laugh because sometimes she turns to look at me, as if sayin,” Mom, are you feeling ok?” When I wouldn’t be feeling well I would tell het that Momma isn’t feeling well, especially if my back was flaring up.

I figure, working slowly so neither of us gets hurt, that we’d be able to walk down by the bay by June. Maybe we’ll walk further by the end of September. My key is to make Kasia and I healthier. We’ll do it one day at a time.

Medical Cha-Cha

Well, we had two medical appointments last week, I had one today, and Jim and I have two tomorrow.

I have always been on top of my health, but I have to admit, as I stare at 60 , God willing, in 9 months, I notice that a lot of folks my age or even younger are passing away.I know when it’s your time, it’s your time and understand that.

It’s just when you catch those ages, well, it’s a little close for comfort.

view of beach during golden hour
Photo by Nuno Campos on

So I am going to be patient, wait for results, and I am going to keep putting one foot in front of another. Life is short.

End of February blues

Here’s a shot of Jim’s mom on our deck last summer. She is now 100 years old and currently in the hospital for observation. It’s sad ,because all she wants is to be home.

We have other neighbors going through things, too. Needless to say, my prayers are going on overtime.

Based on the numbers I’ve seen, spring should be around the corner. Here’s hoping some springtime sunshine will pick up a lot of spirits.