Age

“I am older than I once was but younger than I’ll be….”-Paul Simon-The Boxer

I recently heard an additional stanza of THE BOXER by Paul Simon and the words about being older than I once was have been resonating through my mind. I have been going through some medical issues over the past year. I never had been daunted before , going through serious medical issues in my life, because I always looked at it as something to approach, deal with, and get on with things.

That was thirty years ago.

A week from today I am going to the city for some surgery. The thought of it brings me back thirty years. Egad, how cavalier it all was then. Now, I genuinely am afraid.

The mere fact that I am still here thirty years later, well, the Lord has been good to me. My body, however, is thirty years older and I have not taken as good care of my body as I should have. It makes me wonder if I can still “pull a rabbit out of my hat.” The “what ifs?” dance around my head in the middle of the night, and, quite frankly, I worry. I multiply this by the potential that there might be two or three additional surgeries coming along down the road.

If anything, my diagnosis has, as it had thirty years ago, make me appreciate everything…well mostly everything.

I relish my time with Jim and Kasia, because they are my loves and my family. I am grateful every time I get up in the morning and can get two feet on the floor. Most importantly, I relish my time alone. I reflect on the past, pray for today and hope for the future. Some people I know are afraid to,kind of, be by themselves. Me? I like sifting through things in the parts of my head that are working , and making myself chuckle.

After all, laughter is the best medicine.

Jim with the late Zush to your right and our Kasia on your left.

Happy Anniversary

If you asked me 25 years ago if I’d be married, I’d ask you what you are smoking. Never saw myself getting married. EVER!

Jim came into my life in 1997 and things just never were the same. I mean that in the best way.

We cleaned up well on 8/31/2002, and this can be seen up here on our wedding picture with Zushie.

Our family grew over the past 18 years.We lost our Zush 3 years ago, but we got Kasia 11 years ago. We are all getting older, but at least we are still together.

I can think of no better spouse, Pandemic partner and best friend. Sure, we bicker once in a while, but there is no one I’d rather be on this journey called life with. I have been blessed with a terrific guy.

Wrapping up 2019

It’s been a while, but I figured I’d post to tie things up for 2019.

School, for the first semester, has been awesome. I actually wake up in the morning and look forward to what I’ll be experiencing during my day when I am in. There is never a dull moment, and being surrounded with wonderful co-workers in a supportive environment, I truly have never been happier.

My Kasia girl and I are enjoying our semester break, er, not so much. Jim and I have been pretty sick for a few weeks and are trying to get back up to speed. This sweet face looks at us and you know we need to get better for each other and for her. I have always tried to keep her content.

So with Jim, we had our seventeenth anniversary this year, and are trodding along toward number eighteen. It has been an experience, dealing with medical issues of late. As my buddy Bonnie says to me, “For better, for worse…” and indeed it is. We take care of each other as best as we can, because we have each other. Enough said!

Finally, I am beginning my sixth year of ” retirement”.

I am pleased to have ended one job, embarked on a part-time career, in an area with spectacular sunsets with my family that I love.

Who needs more than that?

I wish you, my friend, a wonderful and healthy 2020. Here’s wishing you smooth sailing and pleasurable days in the year to come.

Thanks for reading.

Thankful

It’s that time of the year, albeit a bit later than usual. Thanksgiving is upon us once again.

I have come to grips with my late father’s view on why he always hated this time of year: the drop of the leaves and the bareness of the trees , in later years, reminded him off death. I understand that now.

I respected my father’s view, but at this point of my life, although I have experienced a lot of deaths, I have also chosen this time of the year to be thankful.

Another Thanksgiving means I am physically here, which is good. I have a husband and pup and family who love me and although we aren’t as young as we used to be, well, we are still here.

I am thankful to have found a second career in my lifetime , which I never though I would have the opportunity to do. They say that working with children is incredible, and I heartily agree. Although Jim and I don’t have any children, I am sure he feels like we do because of the stories I share with him when we are together. We chuckle and enjoy the antics. We have even met my students when we are out and about.

Kasia has taught me to persevere. We keep moving on together, through our aches and pains, and we take each day as it comes. There is a certain peace I get when I walk her, because I make it a point to observe what she is observing, although, agreed, I am at a little higher level. I try to appreciate every day with her.

Finally, I am thankful for you. Thanks for taking the time for reading my blog. Although I have not been writing on a daily basis, I am grateful for those of you who take the time to read my musings.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Big Week

Actually, Friday is the big day.

Jim’s Mom, the “senior” Mrs. C, turns 101.

Wow!

I think of how lucky Jim is, to still have his Mom. My Mom passed away at 89. I know there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of her.

I know, with Jim’s Mom, she has let me in on some hints on the care and feeding of her only son…lol…and her insight and wisdom that has come my way in the past twenty years has been tremendous.

For the record, there’s nothing wrong with Jim in the above picture. We had travelled up to see my mother-in-law in rehab a couple of summers ago and she was doing so well,she wanted to push Jim.

She’s the best! I can only hope to be half the “Mrs.C” that she is.

Long Ago…

…in a galaxy 94 miles away from where I am now, Jim and I said our vows 17 years ago on the 31st of August.

We have gone through ups, downs and bumps, but we are still here. Perhaps the fact that we were late bloomers at 42 and 48, and maybe we assumed that maturity would see us through, but what ever it was, my vote being love, we are still standing at the seventeen year mark. I have often said that it has gotten to the point where I can’t remember life without Jim and Zush, and later Zush and Kasia joining us. I think it’s a good thing.

So happy anniversary to the former bagel baker. I love you and am looking forward to the golden years that we might actually participate in down the road.

Watching…

Like the giant eye in this sunflower, I have taken the past week or so to take time and watch and listen.

Sometimes I feel as though I take everything in, but when I do, I really don’t THINK about it.

Things happen. My neighbor’s husband died, and I knew him for 10 years. He passed at 98. Ninety eight. Pretty good shelf life, I would say. I made it a point to really listen to his wife, who I consider a good friend, and hear her grief. I tried to comfort her as best as I can and check in on her daily. Another friend fell and broke her ankle and had to have surgery. Again, when I go to see her, I make it a point to really dial in and take in what exactly she is telling me. I am due to go to the dietician today. I know when I go there I will be right with her, trying to work on a healthier life style so my shelf life will be decent. That means a lot to me, as this Saturday it’ll be twenty one years since my Dad passed away. He wanted desperately to see seventy seven. Why? Because his Dad lived to seventy six. Now, I am not setting parameters on my shelf life, but it’s that time of year when Dad’s passing has me so aware of time.

A good friend of mine commented on a Facebook post I made, lamenting the short season for hydrangeas in the heat of summer. He quoted that old song about for everything, turn, turn, turn, there is a season…..and it is so true.

I was on the Cape May Ferry this past weekend and in the elevator, a young blond headed girl was there with her sister and her mom. I walked into the elevator and that little face looked up at me, pointed a finger and announced,” I know you; you’re my teacher.” Needless to say the exchange made me feel good, or as Jim would say, I wore a major idiotic grin on my face. Maybe it’s the anticipation of a new school year that added to my recognition of the passage of time. I know poor Kasia will get the short straw when I go back, but thanks to paying better attention to my weight, I will be able to spend more time and walks with her when I get home. I’d like to think that I honor Zush’s memory by giving Kasia all the love she needs and then some.

Most importantly, it’ll be our seventeenth wedding anniversary coming up. It’s to the point where I can’t really remember my life before Jim entered it.

I am truly blessed.

A Pause in the Action

I have been off the blog for a little while because we had company here and things were kind of hopping.

I’m back.

The heat is taking its’ toll. Rain is not a common occurrence ; the lawns are starting to get brown from lack of water. My new normal morning includes watering all the flowers so they keep hanging in there. I do enjoy seeing the fruits of my labor.

The first “Jersey” tomato is ripened on the vine and ready to be picked. What a treat it will be to crack it open. When watching my calories, our tomatoes prove a treat, as they tend to be quite flavorful. It is to the point that I eat regular tomatoes only during the growing season. Outside of the season, the flavor of other tomatoes can be quite disappointing. We also have fresh lettuce that Jim has grown and I have been harvesting for salads. That has been really tasty. It makes you WANT to eat a salad.

This blog post today is dedicated to my late neighbor, Jeanne. She passed away this past winter at the age of 92. She always was a blog reader of mine, and I always looked forward to her comment for the Jersey tomato post.

Still “Weighting”…

The sun is far from going down on my behavior modification.

We had our appointment with the dietician today, after having to reschedule twice due to work conflicts for the both of us.

Embracing changes in diet has been gradual, but evidently effective. I am down twenty seven pounds. Jim is also down. It’s a good thing. Our blood work that we had done recently also reflects the lifestyle change.

What also is nice is that I have approached the whole concept as not a diet, but indeed, a lifestyle change. I wasn’t looking to drop five pounds a week. A half pound or pound or two a week was much more realistic. I didn’t care as much as I wanted to keep off what I had lost.

Since the beginning of April we have both embraced this journey. I can honestly say I have been eating as I would want to for the rest of my life. The shocking part, for me at least, is that I really haven’t been hungry for the junk that I normally would have reached for. For me, this was the hardest part ,initially. Hey, I am a big fan of crumb cake …not to mention other things…

So, the “weighting” for change is an on-going process. As long as we keep off what we have lost, and feel better, we are ahead of the game.